June follows May and Father’s Day follows Mother’s Day. Father’s are so important. Unfortunately, in our society these days, there are so many people who grow up without a relationship with their dad. And, as I’ve been told many times, sometimes it is better they don’t have contact with the dad. That is true and the same can be said for a mother. But don’t be fooled: it leaves a hole in a child’s world.
It isn’t a hole that can’t be overcome. There are some fantastic dads and grandads out there who are willing and able to share their goodness and be a stand in dad for others whose dad’s are not in their lives.
Whether we have a dad or someone we look up to as a father figure, it is so nice to have these people in our lives. If the younger is willing and open to learning by watching these other dads, their lives will be enriched. That is how you learn to be a great dad yourself!
Most of us have some good memories of our dads or the person who most represented dad for us. I lived with my grandparents from 19 months old, and my grandpa is still a BIG guy in my mind. One advantage I experienced by being with older people is that spilled milk didn’t upset them. In other words, they knew what was important and what wasn’t. I’ve had people tell me if I had my kids now, I’d do this and that differently. Well, my grandparents had reared their own four children before my sister and I arrived on the scene, so they had experience. What in life doesn’t go better with experience?
Another difference being with older people is that they aren’t focused on their career or money like younger people. That is positive in that we had a somewhat stress free life, but the negative is that I didn’t have someone to model in terms of business and finding your work-life passion. Frankly, I was of the generation that my grandparents thought I would have a husband to take care of me. It just didn’t work out that way.
I do have fun memories of my Grandpa. In his older years he was built like Santa Clause and he had a true belly laugh. He wasn’t really jovial, but when he laughed, you couldn’t help but laugh with him. He was a strict grandpa and I didn’t always get my way. I remember once he had said no and I wasn’t happy. I said, “When I get big, I’m going to do what I want to.” He laughed. He laughed a big belly laugh. The moment is imprinted in my mind, because frankly, I didn’t know why he was laughing. But, of course, now I do. Like he had planned and wanted to rear two small children in his 60’s and 70’s? Not that he would have done it differently, as he had the opportunity. However, Grandpa was the kind of man who did what life placed in front of him to do. He was laughing because he knew that life, as an adult, wasn’t just about doing what you want to do. At that point, I hadn’t learned that because to my eye, Grandpa did what he wanted to do.
My grandpa retired from farming when I was in the fourth grade and I thought, after that, his job was to chauffeur me around. My grandparents kept my cousins while their mom worked, so in the summer they had four kids. Grandpa would, about four times a week, take us to the swimming pool. He didn’t drop us off. He sat there and watched us. It was hot!! I remember being so short (I know I am still short!) that I would have to stay at the shallow end. But I was quite the dare devil in the water and would creep to the edge, hold myself down where Grandpa couldn’t see me, and work myself down the edge of the pool where it was deeper. Before I could get very far, Grandpa would stand up, come to the edge of the pool, and while pointing to the shallow end say to me, “Get back down there. You would hate for me to have to come in and get you.” And back I went. He would let us stay in for two hours and at the end of two hours he would say, “let’s go,” and another day of swimming was over. We loved it!
I know you have good memories of your dad or someone who represented dad for you. Please leave a favorite memory in the comments section for all to enjoy!! Dad’s rock!
I will be teaching 2 muscle testing classes this month. Please call the office if you are interested.